She slowly pushed open the long-unopened door and stepped into the unknown. The dark was overwhelming as well as the urge to retreat back. But she must go on..
Here, it was as if time stood still. When the dark cleared or rather when her eyes got used to the dark,she felt the oppressive weight get lighter.
She was here to hunt.
Hunt for herself which she has lost. The leap of faith she had to take had almost killed her. The creaking of the door when she had pushed it open had all her nerves frayed.
And now, at last, she was here to hunt. Where should she look first? All her past is erased and all her future is a story that she can write. So, she must tread with care. Or should she give free reign to her pen?
She bundled up whatever courage she had left and decided to risk falling while groping in the dark. And suddenly it is divine melody that is flowing from her heart, vibrating in the air, resonating the dark, radiating from her and pulsating in her every bit. She could not but give herself over to its feeling, fully, totally.
Over and over again, her mind cried out to stop, to awake from the illusion, she will feel the loneliness , the dark, more profoundly when it stops. But her feet decided to dance in the dark.
She felt the winds grazing her cheeks, her bare arms, but they were only momentous. The moment she slipped to revel in their touch, they left her.
Her body was locked in a tempest, a tempest of emotions and expressions and her mind was playing a reel of photographs: black and white, all torn.
And now, there was pain, she felt trees and branches grazing her arms, her legs, her cheeks, her lips, tearing her dress but she could not stop. Could not stop from the will of her limbs and the melody. But oh!the bleeding felt good. There was pleasure in that pain. And then, there was rain. Rain as cold as dew. The lightning streaked and the thunder raked and still the tempest continued..the world for her was awhirlwind of revolving, rotating amalgam of sound, light and touch.
And suddenly her lips opened and her heart poured out, poured out in an unintelligible, incoherent string of sound..the music, it was beautiful but it was terrifying. The screams reached their peak until they echoed and still her body was locked, her world revolved faster and faster and she felt she was touching the untouchable and hearing the unheard.
The pain ended and there were flowers now,the snow was freely falling and the grass was soft under her feet. Her world lowered its speed and now she was barely rotating and then she was still.
And she was whole..whole and unscathed. The music continued and now it was her own, from her lips, pouring out at full force, but soft, slow and soothing… She was at peace, her heart was still beating but she was there to hear it and the happiness was mellow, mellow but feather light, it was there to blanket her forever and let her sleep in bliss.