Yesterday, my mother was 19
Frolicking and rebellious
streak
suppressed inside of her
^not very well^
to showcase to the world
what a great conventional
she was!

Today, I ask her
“what were you like as a kid?”
and she laughs and says
“I was weeeird,
They called me ladiesfinger
cz I wore your grandfather’s shirt and pants
Tailored down
to save money
and it was green
and i was tall! ”

Mother, you so strange
You said you never knew what love was
you say you never had a grandparent
and that’s why maybe you never knew
how to love us properly in a motherly way!
Mother, what of the countless silent
sacrifices
of the little girl you still were
To bring us up
as your little girls
and not suddenly be a woman
as you had to be?

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Mother I see the grey hair on your head
The one’s you are frustrated
cannot be covered with a dye
cz you are allergic
and the ones you think
make you look bad,
I see all of them as honest
hours you put in to raise us up
all the time thinking
you had no idea how to bring up
two daughters.

Yesterday I saw your surprise
and wonder
wide eyes
Innocent
of someone who still gets surprised
by little things
when she has already faced so much!
When I dressed you up in a jeans
and a top
and a dress and a cap soon after
You asked me, “Do I look so…
good?”, hesitantly!

Oh mother, how can I tell you that
there is no one more beautiful
than you
Not even when they sit in a parlor
for ten hours
just because they had the privilege
and look like princess Diana
cz you who have always put me first
when you shouldn’t have had to

radiate from within!